What Wasen't Meant To Be
by needlesofseether
Summary: (OneShot Songfic)It seemed like hapily ever after, but was it? Kagome goes through painful emotions, and cold thoughts. Is this how its sapost to end? (Breaking the Habit-Linkin Park)


NOTE: Hey guys! I'm trying this one shot thing. Someone special suggested this and while he is doing it to a KH songfic I'm going to try a INU one. The song is breaking the habit by Linkin Park. It's a great song. Lyrics are italicized. Have fun!

Kagome started running out of InuYasha's forest. This was all just to hard to handle. For all these years she had been beside him, just loving him from afar. Though she secretly wished for his affections she never asked. He never knew how much he ment to her, also how much he hurt her.

_Memories consume_  
_Like opening the wound_

The well started to come into focus. She was almost there. InuYasha knew that he and Kikyo could not be, at least not in this lifetime. Yet whenever that damn pot came around he was always ready. 'What does she have that I don't? Why can't he look at me the way he looks at her?' Kagome had finally approached the well. With a final look behind her shoulder she jumped in.

_I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again_

Kagome gave a sigh of relief when she reached the other side. Home at last. She could hear the rain pouring outside of the temple. Though it was coming down hard, the loud thumping was comforting and soothing. Things were simpler at home. No shards were to be worried about, wondering if you will live to see the next day, not even InuYasha could not affect her here. She climbed out of the well and up the shrine stairs. Opening the doors she walked outside and let the rain consume her body.

_I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

She just walked around for a while. Taking in the sounds and sights that she rarely got to see. In the distance her eyes wondered to the god tree. Finally the images of InuYasha came back to her fast. 'It could have been perfect' Kagome thought to herself, letting the tears hide in the rain. Walking up to the tree the images of the night before came back. 'Damn you' She thought with all her might. She fell to her knees in agony. 'damn you'

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_

Kagome finally managed to get back up. The rain was still pouring and her cloths were soaked to the bone. Tearing herself away she slowly walked into the house. "Hello?" she called aloud hoping someone would answer. After a few moments of silence she realized that everyone even Grandpa was gone. 'Maybe it's for the best' she didn't feel like explaining things right now.

Kagome took a shower, changed her cloths and sat by the window watching the rain slide down the pane. The pain inside of her was enormous. All she wanted was to inflict pain upon herself. The happenings of the night before were running through her head like an old movie. It was so regal and wonderful, but it was never meant to be. It simply couldn't be. Maybe it would be safer here for awhile. Safe clutching a razor blade, until InuYasha could finally be forgotten forever. 'Why do I feel so helpless?'

_Clutching my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
I had no options left again_  
  
InuYasha had finally said the words I had wanted to hear for so long. That he returned my love, and wanted me. 'Why did I believe that?' She could still remember them together at the god tree. She had been so happy. It felt like nothing could go wrong. He was finally able to love her in the way she always wanted. The gentle moonlight and his arms around her waist, was real. They could finally be together, 'why did I have to be wrong?'

_I dont want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

It was Kikyo. 'Of course' Kikyo came back to the village. She started raising hell and brought demons to slaughter those of her old village. Even though the battle was hard and many were being hurt, InuYasha still defended Kikyo from her own demons. 'He never cared. It was all a lie.' 'I was never the one he wanted, I was just something he could use and throw away.'

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
_

Nothing seemed right anymore. Kagome was sick of all the times she spent thinking of him. Clutching a newly found blade, her thoughts were overwhelming. 'May you two rot in hell together.'

_I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
_

The small razor was ready. It would be so easy, to hurt herself right now. To let all that had happened be released. 'I am tainted now'. No matter what happens nothing will ever be the same.

_I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_  
  
'What the hell am I doing?' She had never sunk this low especially over a guy, even if it was InuYasha. Hurling the blade across the room she could hear it hit the wall and fall to the floor. 'What am I sapost to do?' Her breathing came out shallow and uncontrolled. There was no going back to the other world now, but she had nothing left here.

_I'll paint it on the walls  
'Cause I'm the one at fault  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends  
_

The rain was finally starting to let up. Kagome lay on top of her bed. Exhaustion finally fell over her. As she was ready to let sleep consume her, the bedroom door creaked open. A shadowy figure stood in the doorway looking at her. The figure took a step and looked down. After taking a moment it picked up the discarded blade from the floor and just stared at it. Kagome finally realized who the figure was. She sat up in her bed and looked down at the floor. "Go away InuYasha. You're not welcome here."

InuYasha took another step forward. "Kagome, please don't do this to me." Anger and despair took control "You have already made your decision, let me go in peace." All he could do was look at her. "Please understand I care for you, not Kikyo. She and I had something and nothing can bring it back." He walked over to her bedside and clasped their hands together. "I will always be there for you. I can't explain all the things in my head. Please don't push me out of your life. Not when we can finally be together."

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
But now I have some clarity  
to show you what I mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright_

InuYasha sat beside Kagome and wrapped his arms around her. She let him hold her, loving the warmth he was giving off. Something just felt so right when they were like this. Just him and her. InuYasha took one of his hands off of Kagome and gently cupped her face. His touch was pleasing sending a chill down her spine. Slowly he turned her face towards him. Leaning in he gently kissing her lips. Things were going to take time and work. 'I'm ready' Kagome thought to herself as she deepened the kiss.

_So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_


End file.
